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| Another day, did I pray? No. Did I spend time with God for more then just a 2 minute prayer? No. Did I go and tell someone about Jesus, other then debating about biblical things? No. What’s the deal? That is the question that has been on my mind. I have been a Christian for 2 and a half years and still trying to figure that out, why don’t I or other Christians who claim to be Christian act like it. I know I don’t do it because I don’t want to, mainly I can’t seem to find the right person or persons to help me understand. But then again they are not the blame, I have a choice, and that is whether I am going to obey God or not. I have just been so confused and I have just became apart of this thing call being a Christian. As much as I try the world wins. Not only do I see that in my life but most Christians I meet. We can’t even walk in to a church that people know who we are without having someone giving us a mean looks or hearing about how they don’t like someone or what someone is doing. Can’t even ask a brother in Christ for a ride to somewhere that is less then 5 miles without them complaining or lying saying they are busy, but are just playing a game. Why do we call ourselves Christians when we can’t even say hello to one another, talk to one another, forgive one another, and help one another. What would it take for us to see and do what scripture is telling us. What God wants us to see? I feel like that heart machine where there are zing zags when the heart is beating but when it dies there is a straight line and just a tone. I feel as if I have died spiritually and don’t know where to turn or who to turn to, because the first thing that come out of someone’s mouth is oh I have been there before just do this or they just degrade you, if not verbally by body language, knowing that deep down inside they really don’t care because they themselves are going through things. It’s like we seem to compromise our Christianity, wanting to do what is right, but we are scared of the consequences, so we do what is wrong because we know we are forgiven. God does tell us He is not mocked, that should be easy to understand but its not. We have become so self-centered and it seems like we just love who we want based on looks and class. Some of us just want to spend time with our boyfriend or girlfriend and egnore everyone else. Its funny there are many of us who want to be in the ministry, we want to go to other countries help other people preach to a church, sing for a church, but we just don’t seem to want to get along with our brothers and sisters in Christ when we are suppose to be one family, one body in Christ. How is God supposed to bless our ministries if we can’t even start it now, here on campus with one another, with people in our community? We really need to look into ourselves and ask ourselves am I being who God wants and tells me to be? or I am just so glad that I am forgiven and am going to heaven despite all the things I do to my brothers and sisters in Christ. WHATS THE DEAL CHRISTIANS? WE NEED TO WAKE UP< SORRY FOR MY WORDS, BUT GET OUR HEAD OUT OF OUR BUTTS AND LISTEN TO GOD. I am also one of those people who need to do the same. I just ask whoever reads this that they would pray for me, for guidance, and understanding, because to be quite honest what really is a CHRISTIAN. | | |
| Who can look inside the heart of a person? Who can know what he or she feels, desires, and loves? In Proverbs it says to keep the heart with all diligent for out of it are the issues of life. We all know that there is only One, One who can look and know the real heart of a person. That one person is God; He doesn’t look on the outside but on the inside to the heart. Sometimes I wonder how each of our lives would be if we looked in the mirror and God showed us our heart, what would it look like? What would it say? Most of the time we only look at the out side of ourselves and others, when really we are afraid of looking at our selves and admitting there is a problem, or maybe not a problem but accepting what God want you to do or be. Sometimes we don’t even realize that the way we feel is the way many other people feel. We have put our love into materialism, or in the best of life, whether it is relationships, cars, friends, schools, churches, and clits in the churches, bibles, what ever it is we think as better for us, when really the bible says in Matthew 6:19-2119 "Don't lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal;
20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consume, and where thieves don't break through and steal;
21 for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Our love for the lost soul has slimmed, slimmed to a point we join them in all the joys of life, joys of life which have no gain in heaven. Many of us have believed a lie, a lie that tells us that we need to be the best or have the best and leave all the rest behind, so many souls now believe they are headed to heaven, so many souls not going to heaven because of many Christians selfishness, wantonness and greed. Do we really love one another as we are commanded all through the New Testament or are we just going through the bible seeking truths for ourselves? In some ways I think the Lord has become an escape goat for us, instead of really seeking Him. What would our hearts look like? I can only say mine would be black, but then again only God and I know the desires of my heart, but actions speak louder then words so I am as guilty as everyone else. If you really think about it, God is True Love, and true love is truth and truth is what we run from, as much as we are looking for truth we are running form it and we don’t even have a clue, you may say how could you be running from the truth of God, how is it that we as a body of believers have sought for the best in life, we run from truth when God tell us one thing and we do another, only because the world sees it as not normal, when in God eyes it is the truth and the way to go. Ezekiel14:11The LORD said to Moses, "How long will this people spurn Me? And how long will they not believe in Me, despite all the signs which I have performed in their midst? How long will be continue to be this way? How long will I continue to be this way? I believe that if we honestly looked and let God show us what our hearts look like then we could begin to open our eyes to what the devil has shown us to be truth. If we were to be real Christians we would loose a lot, friends, family, significant others, but why worry about that when we are doing what God ask of us. The heart of a person, God can take it and show each of us but we have to be willing and be prepared for what is to come because of the change, so why not ask God to show us our hearts and changed them? | | |
| I wish I could just disappear; sometimes I just can’t take what life has to throw at me. The hardest part of the whole thing is trying to have a closer relationship with God because everyone else seems to just come and go. Family doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. Then with people I think allot of times I come across the wrong way or I just say too much. Sometimes it would be nice to just be in the presence of the Lord and just to get a hug from Him. No one in this world could give me the peace of mind for at least 2 minutes like Jesus probably could. Trying to find the words to say or things to do only become harder and repetitive. Though I still mean what I say it gets old to other people. The one thing that kills me the most about my struggle is the fact that I have not been humble, obedient, or patient when things rise against me, I always seem to forget that I have a God who can help. I have always told myself to not blame God, but do I, in my actions. Awe what the heck Z, its just a nether day stop complaining............. | | |
| It is almost the end of the semester, all I have to say is when am I going to learn? I have not even shone any progress in my life, only one thing better I know how to do is procrastinate better. Right now I don’t know what to think, I am such a foolish person. | | |
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